“Drugs and alcohol have become an integral part of the music scene, there’s no way around it sometimes.
Figure yourself out before you step into that environment and it makes things a lot easier. If you’re already lost, or figuring things out, throwing drinking into the mix will just keep you lost.”– Justin Cornwall
Tell me about your journey with drinking, AA and finally quitting. Compare how AA helped or didn’t help.
Instead of hitting the college route, I got right into touring right after high school. This was a combination of luck, networking and self-motivation. I started doing merch, then some tour manager work, sometimes a combination of every position.. but we were on the road. It was rock and roll, it was great. And I got about 20 years of drinking done from ages 18 to 24. Along with the touring work, I got in quick with the right circles to bring me to where I currently sit in LA as a DJ. Between club gigs and residencies, there were hundreds of used drink tickets within that timespan, too. Somewhere around 22, things got really crazy and I checked myself into a 30 day residential rehab. About two weeks after, I landed in jail with a DUI.
After both of these pushes, I became heavily involved in AA. This was because everyone was telling me to. AA prolonged my Grandpa Dave’s (RIP) life by 22 years and he became a fine example of what AA can do for you. He was my hero, not because of the sobriety, but just because of the person he was. I wasn’t aware he was a recovering alcoholic till he passed away and my issues started getting heavier. I’d always thought he’d leave before dinner for work meetings, not meeting meetings. I gained a lot of postmortem respect for him after my Mom revealed his recovery to me in the dawn of my downfall. Because of this, however, I put a lot of trust into the fact that AA could ‘fix’ me. It did not.
The program [AA] gave me anxiety, it told me that I had to throw away the life I was living – I’d need to let go of my art and passions in order to get my life straight.
While that’s partly true, the order in which that had to be achieved stood out to me as controlling. I wasn’t waking up every morning and swigging vodka to get my day started, I wasn’t itching at my arm till I got my next fix. I didn’t identify with AA, but everyone there told me I was JUST LIKE THEM. I tried a few times to push myself into the mold and it didn’t work. In fact, it made lubricating my mind with alcohol all the more easier each time I slinked back into that pool. I’m not THAT much of an alcoholic, so I can go back to this in moderation. Yeah right.“This change [quitting drinking] needs to be rooted and can only be done when you are ready.”Justin Cornwall
I’ve never been one to have cravings; I’m not sure why I even enjoy drinking so much. I think I enjoyed the person I would become, but after a certain point I couldn’t stop myself from keeping the high going. Regardless of what was in my cup, if I perpetuated it enough, it’d eventually lead to an emotional, physical or social crash. The last night that I drank – I will keep the majority of the details private for now, but I should be in prison. I am an agnostic, but I believe the universe allowed me one more shot at ‘seeing the light’ and getting my shit together. After countless red flags, this final instance blinded me with the fact that if I don’t stop drinking I will end up dead. And just like that – it was like flipping a switch. I have zero desire to drink anymore and I want to help others who struggle. I’m not going to put you through 12 steps, but I believe anyone can overcome these struggles with a very personal introspective. This change [quitting drinking] needs to be rooted and can only be done when you are ready.
Tell me about your friends and family’s reactions to your decision to quit and new lifestyle choice.
My family and friends couldn’t be happier. I’ve made more progress in the last seven months than I have in the last few years. I get a lot more respect from people in the industry and have been able to somewhat stabilize burned bridges. Everyone is so relieved and happy with the decision, including myself; I can never picture myself turning my back on this new way of living. I’d gone from drinking, to anti-depressants to drinking to drugs to anti-depressants. Always something going on in my head, even if it was exactly what a doctor ordered. Now I have none of that in my head and I feel a whole lot better.
Describe the pressures and dangers of drinking in the music industry.
I’d always known this, but only recently realized how obvious it is – Alcohol is a child’s drug. It has no benefit whatsoever. Most drugs fall into the same boat, but used as a tool some can have temporary benefits. But alcohol has zero benefit. Think about a time alcohol has helped you out. Yeah, it makes things fun for a bit, but there is no concrete benefit from a night out drinking.. In most cases the opposite. Drinking can ruin your reputation easily, especially in music. “Drinking can ruin your reputation easily, especially in music.”Justin Cornwall
You don’t realize how much people talk about you; you don’t realize how many people are watching you. I only realized people were paying attention when I started doing something right, they’d compliment me on the progress. I had no idea they’d always been a bystander watching my train wreck, more often than not getting burned by the fire I was fueling. I’d lost gigs, I’d been flown home from tour early, and I made a lot of mistakes because of drinking. I don’t understand how I lasted so long in that state of mind, but somehow I did.
How does it feel to be in the music industry sober?
“I feel like a Pokémon who has evolved.”Justin Cornwall
Being in this world now, without drinking, is a lot different. I feel like a Pokémon who has evolved. I get things done; I show up to stuff, I don’t mind helping others – I WANT to help others. I have also become this master observer when we’re out – I can’t believe how some of you act in public, but I completely understand because less than a year ago I was doing the same shit. I’ve been able to discern truth a whole lot easier and I can see through a whole lot I didn’t before. People offer me drinks on a regular basis when out, I just say thanks I’m good – no reason to get on my soapbox and preach to the superpowers that come with abstaining from alcohol. I’ve become a ginger beer connoisseur and I love it.
This isn’t high school, even if it feels like it 80% of the time, nobody is going to laugh at you if you don’t chug a beer with the rest. Be firm and if they don’t respect it – they aren’t worth your time.
How do you feel as an artist when there are a bunch of drunk people watching you perform?
It doesn’t bother me as long as people are having fun. Almost all of my friend’s drink, my girlfriend drinks, and other DJ’s drink – as long as you can handle it and have a fun time, go for it! It’s not for everyone, but if you’re enjoying yourself then go for it. Yeah you see a lot of stupid behavior, but it also serves as a friendly reminder that you never have to act that stupid again. I just did Coachella (DJ’d there and enjoyed the entire festival) without drinking and it was a totally different experience. I got highs off the music alone.
And anything else you’d like to write about regarding alcohol and the music industry <333
Just keep your head on straight and things will always work out for the better. Drugs and alcohol have become an integral part of the music scene, there’s no way around it sometimes. It’s in your face everywhere and it’s too easy to jump in. Figure yourself out before you step into that environment and it makes things a lot easier. If you’re already lost, or figuring things out, throwing drinking into the mix will just keep you lost.
Listen to Justin here: soundcloud.com/jstin.
Photo by Dani Meigel
