Before reading this article, please take your shoes off and step into your Bae’s shoes (I hope they aren’t sweaty ew gross…).
*gives you a moment to tie shoes*
Many relationships fall apart because of the load of a mental obstacle. This is a guide on how to have a healthy relationship even if you, your Bae, or both of you have a mental obstacle or obstacles.
The keys to a successful relationship where one or both bae’s have a mental obstacle(s) are compassion, understanding and space or “non-attachment.”
“Try not to confuse “attachment” with “love.” Attachment is about fear and dependency, and has more to do with love of self than love of another. Love without attachment is the purest love because it isn’t about what others can give you because you’re empty. It is about what you can give others because you’re already full.” – Yasmin Mogahed
Non-Attachment to your Bae
Attachment plays a HUGE factor in whether the relationship will be healthy and last. Mental obstacles affect relationships negatively when attachment to the partner becomes a dangerous mood-shifting factor, meaning: when you are with your partner, you are happy, but when they leave, you are extremely depressed and feel like you need them to save you.
If you, your bae, or both of you have a mental obstacle(s), it is important to practice non-attachment. Practicing non-attachment eventually leads us to inner happiness and acceptance of our self so that we can love healthily.
Are you more feminine or masculine?
Sometimes it’s hard to understand what our Bae is going through because we think and react to stress differently!! Pick out what habits you have that are more feminine or more masculine.
Info from photo was taken from here.
Your Bae might have a mix of these habits, but basically…
Feminine Stress Reaction: They are COMFORT-SEEKERS and might call you whenever they are lonely and crying to fill the void of a mental obstacle.
Masculine Stress Reaction: They AVOID YOU when they are lonely or angry and might use drugs, alcohol or sex to fill the void of a mental obstacle.
Letters to You, the Bae
Below are letters to you, the “Bae,” on how to have compassion, understanding, and practice “non-attachment” for a healthy relationship.
Dear Feminine Bae with a Mental Obstacle,
Your Bae is not your therapist, Bae is your Bae. If you treat your Bae like your therapist, you will lose your Bae. Your Bae needs compassion and understanding toward your mental obstacle(s), but you need to have compassion and understanding towards the space that your Bae needs. Practice space, or “non-attachment.” Click on the photo to read more.
Dear Masculine Bae with a Mental Obstacle,
You have a Bae who loves you, so open up to your Bae and let your Bae help you. Have compassion for your Bae who is worried sick about you, and ease into talking about your issues with your Bae. Your Bae will never know or be able to help until you start talking. Practice action-therapy vs. numb-therapy, meaning, take baby steps to confront your problems. Click on the photo to read more.
Dear Bae without a Mental Obstacle who’s Bae has a Mental Obstacle,
You are not Bae’s therapist, but Bae does need you to a healthy extent. Understand your Bae’s mental obstacle(s), and have proper compassion when you are able to give support, but you also need to set boundaries for yourself and provide your Bae with other resources. Click on the photo to read more.
Everyone is different, so everyone’s mental obstacles need different loving. Understand your Bae’s reactions to stress, have compassion for their unique mental obstacle, and learn how to talk about it to find a system that works. Click on the photo to read more.
Relationship questions??? Ask a real human who feels your feelzzz! Email firstname.lastname@example.org