On days where I feel doubtful of who I am and what direction my life is headed, I remind myself that I’m worth the time and investment, no matter how much. I say these things to myself as a mental note that I’m worth the progress I’m making.
Snapshot of Mamí and Me: What I Left and What I am Worth
My mamí always had fragrant cremas on her hands. She would put them on daily, always using them in the morning, before leaving for work. They came in these little round pastel bottles with gold and silver caps. As a girl I would play with the botellitas, stacking them, cutting circles of paper and using the cremas to make paper tortillas. Opening them all, I’d take a fingertip’s worth of each one and create a nauseating concoction. To this day, every time I smell one of these scents, I’m taken back to my mamí’s room. Like a snapshot, I see the crisply pulled linen across the bed. I feel the oscillating fan blowing the humid summer air through the room, and see the crocheted lace on every nightstand.
Leave the Blinds Shut: 5 Ways to Pull Yourself Through A Depression Episode
When it comes to my moods and my emotions, my highs can be really high. But my lows can leave me wondering where those highs even came from in the first place. Here recently, I’ve been in an emotional rut that’s resulted in me not being able to enjoy life as much as I’d like and it’s had a negative impact on my productivity and self-image. I’ll feel so many things (although sometimes nothing at all) that I lock myself in my room in complete isolation with my blinds shut and my curtains closed. However, what happens to me a lot when I slide far down into depression is that I’ll grow so exhausted from the episodes, that I’ll have to come out of my funk, even if only temporarily, just to give myself a break from the influence the depression has over me at the time. In other words, while I may not be able to come out of my depression overall, I do what I can to build my strength up so that I can continue to move forward in dealing with my depression. This leads to me gradually coming out of the episode and once again living life in my highs.
How to Listen to Your Body: Self-Love Routine
One of my January reflection goals was to learn to love myself again. A part of that process has been making it a routine to listen to my body.
Listening to your body is a practice (and yes, sometimes it is hard + involves tissues <3 <3 <3). It means pausing to sit, breathe, relax the muscles in your face, neck, shoulders, all the way down to your toes. It means asking your inner self, “how do you feel” and “what do you need?”.