One time when I couldn’t fall asleep, my friend looped “I’m So Tired” by Fugazi, and it was the only thing that got me to finally enter dream world. The piano chords seem to trudge up a flight of stairs, slowly turning the knob of your bedroom door, and belly flopping on to your mattress in extreme exhaustion and burnout. Meanwhile, his voice is a gentle lullaby, taking your shoes and socks off that you were too tired to remove yourself, tucks you in, and turns the light off.
The title “It’s Not Real” reminds me of talking to myself during a panic attack, trying to convince myself that the negative images and thoughts spiraling in my head are not real. Contrary to the chaos and energy overload of a panic attack, Mable Ye‘s song is a chill, mellow and melancholy self-reflection. If you’re in need of existential crisis questions asked in a surprisingly calm way, this #SadcoreSundays song is for you.
Back in August 2018, Janette Ayub of Girl Underground Music invited me to play a benefit show as Cusi Coyllur to help keep families together who were separated due to Trump’s zero tolerance policy. After I performed, scarypoolparty went on and I fell in love with his fast finger-picking, soothing voice, and his song “Out Loud.” So much so that the next day, I learned it on piano and played it over and over again, adding vocal harmonies to it too.
In this week’s pick for Sadcore Sundays, Sevdaliza delivers a strong message about being expected to put another’s well-being over your own all in the name of love. “Marilyn Monroe” follows the perspective of someone living in their own pain, yet feeling under pressure to be a support system for someone who won’t do the same for them.
Initially, when I first heard this song I attached it to something romantic, but after listening for some time, I think this song could be for anyone looking to be given a second chance. I hear it now as an apology from that part of us that can be stubborn and harmful, but reaching out to be seen as something more than our mistakes. We can do better. We know it, and we want others to know it too.