
On days where I feel doubtful of who I am and what direction my life is headed, I remind myself that I’m worth the time and investment, no matter how much. I say these things to myself as a mental note that I’m worth the progress I’m making.
My mamí always had fragrant cremas on her hands. She would put them on daily, always using them in the morning, before leaving for work. They came in these little round pastel bottles with gold and silver caps. As a girl I would play with the botellitas, stacking them, cutting circles of paper and using the cremas to make paper tortillas. Opening them all, I’d take a fingertip’s worth of each one and create a nauseating concoction. To this day, every time I smell one of these scents, I’m taken back to my mamí’s room. Like a snapshot, I see the crisply pulled linen across the bed. I feel the oscillating fan blowing the humid summer air through the room, and see the crocheted lace on every nightstand.
Lyrics:
I’m sorry if I seem uninterested
Or I’m not listenin’ or I’m indifferent
Truly, I ain’t got no business here
But since my friends are here
I just came to kick it but really
I would rather be at home all by myself not in this room
With people who don’t even care about my well-being
I don’t dance, don’t ask, I don’t need a boyfriend
So you can go back, please enjoy your party
I’ll be here, somewhere in the corner under clouds of marijuana
With this boy who’s hollering I can hardly hear
Over this music I don’t listen to and I don’t wanna get with you
So tell my friends that I’ll be over here