Relationship Advice: Dear Masculine Bae with a Mental Obstacle

Dear Masculine Bae with a Mental Obstacle,
You have a Bae who loves you, so open up to your Bae and let your Bae help you. Have compassion for your Bae who is worried sick about you, and ease into talking about your issues with your Bae. Your Bae will never know or be able to help until you start talking. Practice action-therapy vs. numb-therapy, meaning, take baby steps to confront your problems.

I dated an extremely masculine Bae one time who ignored EVERYONE when he was in a funk and just numbed out on who knows what.

Don’t be that Bae. It’s not worth it.
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1. Let your Bae know what’s going on.

You don’t have to say precisely what’s going on yet, just say your mental health or your mind is out of balance. Not talking about the problem won’t help, so start talking! Ask if you can call your Bae to practice opening up when you are in a funk. If it’s hard to express words, try writing, drawing or composing a song about your thoughts first.

2. Apologize and Thank your Bae (because your Bae spent a lot on tissues!!) if you’ve done any of the following things:


***Ignored your Bae.
***Lashed out in anger at your Bae because of your feelz.
***Did self-destructive habits that Bae found out the hard way.

Apologize for the worries you gave your Bae, and thank your Bae for staying with you through your hard times like a good Bae xoxox.


3. Ask your Bae to help you find extra support.


It is NOT shameful at all to ask for help even though the laws of social masculinity say otherwise. Ask your Bae to join your research party for therapists, counselors, psychiatrists – or less formal – support groups, bloggers, etc.


4. Design an action-therapy plan and tell your Bae your plan.


Make a plan to replace your self-destructive habits. Choose a favorite healthy hobby, something productive like cleaning or cooking, or focus on your passion when you feel an urge to choose something self-destructive. I highly recommend replacing the negative activity with YOUR PASSION. What is your passion?? If you don’t know yet, replace it with walking around your neighborhood and pondering under trees like the old philosophers used to do. I’m serious. DO IT.

This will be harder and feel embarrassing because, some of those negative habits you complete with friends, right? If you must maintain the whole “tough” act, don’t worry, you don’t have to tell those friends. You can make a lovely excuse like, “I’m being drug tested now.” Whatever! Find a way so you can start helping yourself :) You are more important than what your friends think.


5. Go through with your plan. Do it.


I can’t stress this enough. Do it. Get help, ask for help, talk about it, or focus on your passion. DO NOT BE CONTENT WITH NUMB-THERAPY!! This will only delay the problem, and eventually – coming from someone who’s been a heartbreaker – will be the deal breaker.

You got this !!!!!
*Posi Vibes and Will Power For You!!!*

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